I am your ardent reader for quite long, but this is my first email. Your post titled "Antha munooru paer" triggered the idea of writing this to you.
I was a reader since very young, in the sense, had to keep on reading something all the time. My level of reading were tamil weeklies, Sandilyan, Kalki, Sujatha, all Novel writers like Anuradha Ramanan, Vasanthy, Prabanjan etc and Stella Bruce, T. Janakiraman, Aru Ramanathan, Jeyakanthan little bit. Even LA.SA.RA was difficult for me to understand. Never heard of Sundara Ramasamy or you.
In Libraries, bored with reading same authors, I ventured a bit. And discovered A Muttulingam. Normally, I stay away from Ceylon writers as I could not bear reading about the difficult time going on in Ceylon. But was pleasantly surprised by him, and started following his blogs; which took me to Nanjil, S. Ramakrishnan, Vannadasan and you. Even then, I read Nanjil a lot, and only a little from your site. I used to think "who is he, always having something to say about everything, does he think himself a KNOW ALL ?" And I thought you were more siding towards Malayalees than Tamils. (Your articles about Tamils humour, their fine feelings etc.. :-)) Though I brushed away your posts on current affairs, your stories attracted me like a magnet, and I found myself re-reading them. Then your posts on your personal life, Gandhi, Thevaram/Thiruvasagam etc pulled me more into your site. I started to like you.
Before I could realise, I was reading your site everyday morning. And more than that, I had a strong feeling of talking to you personally through reading your site. As somehow you knew the readers, and the current item they are reading.
Last year (or was it the year before that), when you visited my city I came to Readers' meet i came there,, I did not talk to you though - actually I came to see you, hear you, observe you talking. It was like meeting someone you (or something within you) knew very closely. Thinking about it now... was I expecting you to recognize me ?
You have written few times about the intimate soul connection you have with your readers. Well, am just a normal reader, many steps lower to many in your reader's circle in the depth of reading, or in any spiritual/political/science
When I was in 10th through Bsc, I had fabulous Tamil teachers.. I was so interested in the little of "Sanga Illakiyam" we learnt. I strongly believed that anyone who learnt Tamil will never be immoral or "not righteous" in their personal life. (What a romantic fool I was). But nothing can come close to your explanations Jay.
Jay, the way you bare yourself in front of your audience makes them get closer to you. More than your fictional stories, those based on your life experiences and your perception has fascinated me a lot. "Purappadu I and II" is something that will never go away from me - and anything to do with your Mom, father and brother. You have written about your sister one or two times - your "Vaal". How is she now ?
Now, I don't read anything else at all, except your site. I have always been intrigued by Mahabaratham, and when Venmurasu was announced, I was overjoyed to read it through you. Though I read in the net (sometimes, even wait till 2:30AM for the next chapter), I buy the books thinking (a) I will read them again sometime later in my lifetime (b) someday in future, my children will read them (c) and an unexplained craziness that will not settle till I buy the book.
I still can't make out your intentional pauses...but, I don't start reading your writing, like a text book. I will go on reading and whatever reaction happens, happens. Certain points stay in the mind and echo throughout the day. So, I don't consciously notice your pauses and try to interpret them.
Your writing broadened and deepened my thinking and outlook. I look upon you as a teacher/role model/good friend - each in a different aspect - but majorly on how to understand ourselves, this life, universe and be happy and make others happy. Well, still a long way to go.. I hope I can absorb at least a drop of your vast knowledge, and atleast a tint of attitude that says "I decided to be happy. I decided that I will let nothing to disturb my inner happiness".
There's a lot more to say.. but what's the point of saying all those ?
வாசிப்பில் எழுத்தாளனை நோக்கி வருவதற்கு இரு இயல்பான வழிகள் உள்ளன. முதல்வாசிப்பிலேயே முழுமையாக ஆட்படுதல் ஒன்று. அகங்காரத்தால் தடுக்கபப்ட்டு முடிந்தவரி எதிர்ப்பு அளித்து மெல்லமெல்ல நெருங்குதல். [கிட்டத்தட்ட இதையே அஷ்டநாயிகா பாவத்திலும் மரபில் சொல்லியிருக்கிறார்கள்]. இரண்டும் இரண்டுவகையான அறிதல்களைச் சாத்தியமாக்குகின்றன. எதிர்ப்புகளை முன்னரே அளித்துவிடுகையில் அறிதல் இன்னும் அணுக்கமாக ஆகிறதோ என்றும் நினைப்பதுண்டு
எந்த எழுத்தாளரும் எழுதும் மொத்த புனைவுலகையும் அவனுடைய அகம் என்ற ஒற்றைச் சொல்லால் சுருக்கிவிடலாம். அந்த உலகில் அவனுடைய அறிவு, உணர்ச்சிகள், கனவுகள், ஆழ்நிலைகள் என நான்குமே இருக்கும். அதை அறிவதென்பதே வாசிப்பு. இபப்டிச் சொல்லலாம். அறிவையே முதலில் அறிகிறோம். கடைசியில் கனவுகளைப் பகிர்ந்துகொள்கிறோம். ஆழ்நிலை என்பது ஒன்றாதல். அங்கே எழுத்தாளனும் வாசகனும் ஒருவராக ஆகிறார்கள். ஒரே உண்மையின் இருபக்கங்களில் நின்று அதைப்பார்க்கிறார்கள்
அந்த நிலையில் இரண்டாவது படிதான் உணர்வுரீதியான ஈடுபாடு. அறிவார்ந்த உரையாடல் முடிந்து மறுபடியும் நீள்வது அது. அந்த உணர்வுரீதியான ஈடுபாடுள்ள வாசகர்கள் என் அறிவுத்தரப்பு அல்ல. என் குருதியுறவுகள் போலத்தான்.